Goras, Gurus and the Ganga

“Don’t put your enlightenment outside of you-not in India, in the past, in the future, in gurus or experts. Honor the revelations that come from your own direct living experience.” – Lorin Roche

The Guru: A shriveled-looking man with a cane in his hand, stare as blank as a gun’s barrel and with the equal possibility of inflicting death. He promised good karma in exchange for a kilo of fire wood, fire wood to be used in the cremation of the deceased, the many deceased who desire to be put into the mother of all rivers as their final resting place, the Ganga.

I smiled with my eyes and not my mouth. Then I heard her call my name seductively and provocatively, I couldn’t help but follow gingerly and uncertainly. I chuckled nervously while saying that this experience might change my life forever, subconsciously expressing what my soul desired seriously. She drifted from my vision so graciously and with every reemergence set me wild with transient ecstasy. How did she? Why would she? What did she want from me? Calling me into her womb, a womb so cold, it burned! I dive, I dip and I wash. Has my karma has been cleansed now? What part of my karma did I truly not want? I don’t know, but I do know that I felt better after being with her, walking beside her, around her, in her. Her streams flow fresh from the mysterious Himalayas, innocent and silky on the surface, but like any body of water within her lie the darkest of secrets and fates.

With burning eyes and tears welling within, I did not understand whether it was joy or the resurfacing of buried fears causing the shivers down my spine. Perhaps understanding is not what I now must learn, maybe acceptance is something that I should discern. The emotional storm was finally over but the meteorological one approached from ahead. Palms pressed against each other, thumbs to my chest, breath long and subtle, sunset orange, pink and red. Gratitude -oh, how I wish there were a greater word for it- flows over my chest, the smell of familiar scents and some that are new and rare. Softly, the wind kisses my sweating brow, then it drizzles and rains.

With a feeling of renewal I observe my infatuation with the journey I am on, I sense a sadness arise at my realization of the inevitable arrival at a terminus. I may arrive without a grand finale, and not even a round of applause. I may think “this can’t be the end, can it?”, and I hope I remember to tell myself to congratulate and clap for myself and be content with it. For only I would have witnessed and experienced it fully, only I can and will appreciate it as much as I do, and will.

I am celebrating my life alone, no gora, no guru and with the Ganga out of sight. You can watch.

15 thoughts on “Goras, Gurus and the Ganga”

    1. Yes Zay, Ali is having a wonderful time and learning a lot of things through this journey! Proud of him may be an understatement. Let’s all rejoice.

      love, Dad.

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  2. Beautiful my dear! Compassion, desire, realisation & love was what I sensed from your writing.
    Keep going my dear. Big hugs & much love xx

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  4. My dearest Ali, again you’ve demonstrated your mastery of suspense and use of words. I love it! As the Ganga flows from the crevices of the mysterious Himalayas, and her, whispering through your pores, I can see you becoming one of her through this orgasmic fusion.

    I’ll leave you with Rudyard Kipling as you continue to enjoy India and entertain us.

    If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with triumph and disaster
    And treat those two imposters just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools. – Rudyard Kipling

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      1. Ali, I wanted to share this with you. Divine inspiration will always be in your breathing.

        “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It’ when you give of yourself that you truly give.”

        Gibran, The Prophet

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  5. Ali,
    I just read this and I have to say it reminded me of when we were little and you would come up with the most cheekiest things to say. Little did we know that it was the start of an amazing journey to mindfulness and self expression.

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  6. Amazing to see such string of flowing words out of free soul, you sound truly liberated… all the best in your journey, May you attain the level of self awareness and liberation by the end of the journey as much as you expected at the beginning of journey. May each day and each journey you take enrich you with bliss.

    All the best … Cheers

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    1. I truly appreciate your comment and having taken the time to read my post. Thank you Jagan for your well wishes and kind words. I wish you the very best life has to offer as well.

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  7. Dear Uncle,
    As I follow you through this journey of a life time, I can see you in our grandfather Mohamed bin Aziz felt when he was on his Africa quest for new life. Its really beautiful to see that another Al Amri is following the same step but on a different level. I think adventure is in our system. I had this dream of flying myself around the world and that’s why I became a pilot, but unfortunately my dreams have not materialized.
    I wish you all the best on your journey and we are behind you all the way.
    Uncle Hilal

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