A test for my ego is the acknowledgment of my external appearance by the other, a form of flattery that is possibly a process of mirroring what they admire most in themselves. Yes, I do have deep gratitude for the sincerity and purity of the compliments and no I do not want them to stop, because my ego exists and is present and is craving, desiring and feeding off these beautiful gestures of acknowledgment.
Words have been shared with me and I now do realize that ridding myself, or my self rather, of this ego may not possible, because my ego has no where else to go and no where else to be. However, if I could get rid of this ego would that mean that I would not feel the sincere appreciation that I had felt while being acknowledged for actions, presence and/or appearance? Also, how closely are my ego and love of oneself intertwined? Can self-love exist without the ego and vice versa?
with such questions running through my head, I give thanks for my upbringing and the emphasis placed on being humble, free of debt and the lessons I received about living life without regret (not free of mistakes).
“You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live and you learn. You’re human, not perfect. You have been hurt, but you are alive. Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy and to chase things you love. Sometimes there’s sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we are hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us just around the corner.” – Dad
Although I am not sad, nor hurting, my father’s words reiterate themselves in my vibrating soul, as a constant reminder to appreciate every ounce of experience that is presented to me, hug every question that approaches my mind and greet every answer that aims to resolve and even sometimes lead to other questions.